Being a mom is no easy task. No "expecting" books warn you of the constant battle of juggling motherhood with everything else and how difficult it is to handle sometimes.
I'm a mother before all- to a beautiful, smart, adorable 4 year old boy. I am a student battling nursing school stress, drama and then some. Constantly finding myself putting my child on hold while I study.. One more year I tell myself, but it'll be another year less to watch my son. I am a nanny who just realized that the amount of time being spent with someone else's child would be much more than the time spent with my own child.. I can't have that.. I have decided to decline the head start program for jj because of the little time I would have left to spend time with him. If Tuesday's & Thursday's are all I have-- so be it. I'll spend time with my child Tuesday's & Thursday's. No amount of money is worth as my time with my child--not even close! Brings up another dilemma about the nannying position-- their daughter is 3 months old, and although it would be good "practice" for jj and myself for when my own daughter comes along, it'll be exposing jj to someone much younger than he, and not having anyone to play with his own age during those two days.
I am seriously reconsidering this position.. I'm reconsidering my school.. I'm reconsidering everything in life.. Except my child. See, no one tells you about all the juggling one would have to do as a mother, and I think someone ought to-- to prevent this very breakdown that I (and other women out there juggling the same as me) am going through..
Tomorrow, I will tell the new family that Jj's coming with me and that's that. If they have a problem with that.. Well then it wasn't meant to be & I'll move on..