Monday, August 15, 2011

Breakdown part 2

Being a mom is no easy task. No "expecting" books warn you of the constant battle of juggling motherhood with everything else and how difficult it is to handle sometimes.

I'm a mother before all- to a beautiful, smart, adorable 4 year old boy. I am a student battling nursing school stress, drama and then some. Constantly finding myself putting my child on hold while I study.. One more year I tell myself, but it'll be another year less to watch my son. I am a nanny who just realized that the amount of time being spent with someone else's child would be much more than the time spent with my own child.. I can't have that.. I have decided to decline the head start program for jj because of the little time I would have left to spend time with him. If Tuesday's & Thursday's are all I have-- so be it. I'll spend time with my child Tuesday's & Thursday's. No amount of money is worth as my time with my child--not even close! Brings up another dilemma about the nannying position-- their daughter is 3 months old, and although it would be good "practice" for jj and myself for when my own daughter comes along, it'll be exposing jj to someone much younger than he, and not having anyone to play with his own age during those two days.

I am seriously reconsidering this position.. I'm reconsidering my school.. I'm reconsidering everything in life.. Except my child. See, no one tells you about all the juggling one would have to do as a mother, and I think someone ought to-- to prevent this very breakdown that I (and other women out there juggling the same as me) am going through..
Tomorrow, I will tell the new family that Jj's coming with me and that's that. If they have a problem with that.. Well then it wasn't meant to be & I'll move on..


  1. you go girl! put your foot down! All their baby is going to do is sleep so I dont see why jj wouldnt be able to come along and if they do say no, then it wasnt meant to be! I am in the same boat as you. I get to see zoe more tho because of how I did my schedule. But yesterday as I was leaving for work she clings to me and says never leave again. broke my heart. When we become "debt free" I am going down to two days a week of work and spending my time with Zoe until she goes off to school! nothing is more important then your child. In my opinion.

  2. I agree with Allie, all 3 month olds do is sleep, eat and poop. Older siblings have to deal with baby siblings all the time. If they don't like it well just remember "when God shuts a door he always opens a window." I totally understand the juggling thing. When I was working Ava spent so much time at my mom's she started calling my mom "Mommy". Yeah that was it, I quit the salon and luckily found a job at a daycare that let me bring her to work with me for free. Have you ever looked into something like that?? I don't know about the day cares in your area but the one I worked at was a drop in type one and it was open really early and really late so the hours were really flexible. If you could find something like that it might help.

  3. I've looked into day cares & working there but all the day cares here require certification from the state. Not spending $$ or time getting that done.
    I spoke to the family & they have no problem w/ jj coming along. I also figured out a way for me to drop him off @ school 3 days a week & still see him a bit earlier. I'm going to sacrifice Thursday's to see him :/ ionno we shall give it a try before continuing on with this hectic crazy insanely obnoxious most unrealistic schedule of my life.. :/